1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
