Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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