This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize