My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
