it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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