i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
