shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
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you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
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The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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