I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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