Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
