matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
