ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
