census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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