so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
