Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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