what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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