she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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