Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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