he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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