I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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