Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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