Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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