Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
