I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
