I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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