She is in my trunk
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize