Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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