im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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