I think I won the penis lottery.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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