Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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