why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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