you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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