Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
