she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Found the puke drawer
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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