im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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