how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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