I can tuck mytits in my pants
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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