you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
