He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize