Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
