please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We need to get me chipped asap
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
