Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
