Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
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It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
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Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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