So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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