I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So many bounce houses so little time
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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