he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
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can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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