Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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