Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
