I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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