I think I died a long time ago.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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