Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize