even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
