White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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