We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
