so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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