Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Randomize
