Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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