hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
