i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
