bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
one might say we're banned from that church
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
