I feel great
I just peed on a car
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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