i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
